from the letters of Ed McGeough, written 1977-1997

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"Walk down the beach of sorrow
 Count your friends as grains of sand
 As the sea rolls in unending
 On the edge of the sky and land

 Listen to your Heart, it's calling
 Soft as the sea on naked feet
 With a whisper from the silence
 Where all edges and memories meet"

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"Like a man with his feet in blocks of concrete stranded on a sandbar with the tide rising trying to give a talk on swimming to seagulls passing by..."

"...in short I can only blether spontaneously; put arbitrary frames on the pictures that pass through my mind."

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"Throw me a line I'm a drowning man
    free on the streets - I'm beat
 Losing control and I need a hand
    free on the streets - I'm beat
 I'm going down, down, down - I'm down

 Looking for you in the cafes and bars
 Window-shopping under the stars
    free on the streets - I'm beat
 Going down, down, down - I'm down - "

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"Truly - none of it is important!
 Not worth recording!
 To play it - yes!
 To sing it - yes!
 To feel it - yes
 to Keep it? - No!"

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"Everything you do it pleases me
 I even love you when you're quiet
 Everything you do it pleases me
 I need you an' I can't deny it
 Tout les choses que tu fait - il me plait."

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"When all the rivers are crossed
 and the dice have all been tossed
 and yesterday time is lost from view
 I'll turn on my heel
 'n' hide what I feel
 and turn away from you."

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"Too drunk too often - too sober most of the time."

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"Sittin' here on this doorstep
 On the diamond pavement that Nobody layed,
 Wonderin' which bell t'ring,
 'N' if I'd come, whether I should'a stay'd

 Still sittin' here wonderin' 'bout it,
 Hardly hopin' t'do much good,
 Now matter how hard I think 'bout it,
 It doesn't feed nobody no food

 It doesn't do nobody no good
 T'be hanging in a mess -
 But being here the way it is
 Who'd accept anything less???

 Wherever u are, I hope it's OK,
 Not too many closed doors,
 Wherever u find yourself,
 I hope you're allowed t'sleep on the floor -

 I'll never know, maybe there's a heart in there somewhere -
 Maybe it will all happen despite the weather,
 'N' all u ever dreamed of will suddenly be together.

 It's hard to believe God (LOVE) waits on you
 But what else waits -
 What else is true?"

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"I inherited an armchair
 Past my prime, half-alive, almost twenty-five,

 Now I've come into a rocking-chair
 There's honey in the hive -
 In my prime, still alive, rocking sixty-five."

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"The message seems to be that life is a gift, to be thankful for & enjoy - seems like a good idea. So very foolish of sods like myself to waste time identifying with 'the low, the lonely, & the lost', idealising poverty, & living with the blues."

"When one is young, one vows never to become old - like a man in a sea, swearing he will not only not drown, but will never get wet."

"It's always so strange - that life's landmarks so often are deathmarks, and the milestones are tombstones or just dust."

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"The heart has its reasons that the head does not know
 Listen sweet lady before you go
 I was living in darkness, clutching for air
 I just needed somebody & I found you there

 You gave me your lovin', you gave it so true
 I opened my heart and gave it to you
 Just why you loved me is a mystery to me
 Listen sweet lady & keep acting free

 If you must leave now, that's all right with me
 I wouldn't want you to stay if you didn't stay free
 Like a child in the night-time, like a ship lost at sea
 Just why I love you is a mystery to me

 You say time will tell and it all goes to show
 The world turns around and the four winds do blow
 And the heart has its reasons the head does not know
 I love you sweet lady - I swear that it's so"

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"We made love... and it depressed me as much as hurling a rope across a chasm with all my strength only to see it fall short of reaching the outstretched hands at the other side & fall limply into the depths... felt that feeling of "See, I am here & you are too, and yet it is as if I never arrived for we are not together."

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"Now I want to tell you what I wish for you!
 I want & wish you to be Rested, Calm, Easy And Untroubled -
 I wish you to be Clear & Clean, un-muddled -
 I want that Something in you stays free from time, age, decay, & foolish Cleverness -
 I wish you to be Alone & Content,
 without human comfort/friend/family or woman/man -
 but just Renewed in Being & Energy -
 and to Die when u are Alive -
 And to Live when u are Gratefully Already Dead -
 And never to get caught up in fixed Ideas, Set Mind-Sets, Rigid Patterns, -
 I wish for you to begin and never end -
 choiceless Awareness -
 (And while you live) -
 Appreciate Depression, Blues, Cynicism, Deadness of Feeling/Soul -
 Appreciate the 'Crazy' simplicity & beauty & wonder of being alive at all"

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"In truth, it takes a lot to impress me in a book these days. P'raps the eyes of my perception [are] in need of cleansing."

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"The best songs have no words
 You knew it all the time-
 Music is the last resort
 When living is a crime"

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"Hear You Calling - Dance

 Thought it, felt it, tried it,
 Rocked it, rolled it, died it.
 Said it: dance with me.
               dance dance dance"

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"How can I tell u what you know
    give you what you have,
 How could I paint or show or say
    or think or feel this way
 How could I tell you what you know,"

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"Well, So far - it looks all Right.
 It could be better - I half remember -
 But, So far - it looks all right -
 Like music, memory, love, and fright -
 But, so far - it looks all right.

 He studied language till he couldn't speak -
 And music till he couldn't sing -
 And life until he couldn't breathe -
 And love till it was everything -
 He stopped and started, tried again,
 And when it all came out the same, he screamed -

 He learned to dance -
 He took a chance -
 He screamed -

 Well, so far - it looks all right.
 It could be better - I half-remember.

 It was easy to be at home -
 I never thought of being alone -
 Being busy being,
 No time t'look inside,
 Never a thought of a place t'hide -

 O yeh, it was better - I half-remember -
 Like a wind, a wave, an overwhelming shame -
 Name, my name
 In the wind -"

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"One for all the crazy midnight unpublished poets,
 for the ones who can't create,
 who know what it means
 t'be inarticulate"

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"In the night I sleep & dream of you
 In the mornin' I wake, but you know
 I'm still dreaming of you anyway - all day! Yeh!"

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"Same old, Same old - brand new day..."

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"I bin so fuckin idle I thought I was the dust on the rust in the wheels that were stopped."

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"Don't know why she felt so sad -
 Musta bin them lowdown blues she had..."

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"The song of the heart alone is true -
 Let it be empty - that's alright!
 This page is for you -
 To remember the love I couldn't write..."

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"U got the stars, the trees, the night,
 I ride home on my old bike -
 Y're young, you have the heart,
 I'm pushing uphill with no kickstart -
 U got all the love I left behind,
 'N' I'm lost, I'm lost inside my mind -
     (Sing it one more time -
      Sing it one more time -)"

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"Sometimes I'm sad for all the ones who cannot be alone,
 Married or connected with a heart that's turned t'stone, -
 Sometimes I'm glad just t'be alive, taking comfort in my blues,
 Enough sometimes just to survive, trustin' life t'pay my dues -
 But really I don't know what's best:
 T'be alone or be together,
 'N' with a bit of luck I guess,
 We'll all know better weather -

 For if I knew my own heart, and if it was true
 Then I'm sure there'd be no difference 'tween me and you -
 But life isn't like that, as you and I well know,
 We just live it best we can with one eye on the larger show -
 'N' it ain't easy makin' money,
 Workin' for a livin' is hard -
 'N' when you're unhappy it ain't funny
 No matter how rich your credit card -

 As being without the one you love is livin' hell for yourself -
 So wrap your wings around me, Angel, love,
                  & remind me of my wealth....."

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"T'lie t'gether
 quietly
 n feel the night
 surround us

 T'wake in wonder
 in the mornin
 knowing love
 has found us

 Remembering nothing
 forgetting all,
 watching together
 love's rise n fall -
 fall into sweetness
 together - completeness."

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"What words
      in the night
      No silence keeps,
 What awful dreams
      disturb
         your sleep?

 Like children gazing
      at a distant star,
 How lost from love
      we sometimes are!

 O shine in and through us.
      brighten us,
      unfrighten us,
 O simple joy, open us,
 Simple day, awaken us!"

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"Strangers now in life n love as when we first met
 for all we shared in love n pain we've learnt little yet
 Bewildered in a battleground each crying No Surrender
 What matter leaves 'n' children's shoes, the feeling of being tender?

 For spite we slight one another
 Unable t'love we say that it's over -
 Rememberin hurts they can't forgive
 hardened hearts forget to live -

 N it's impossible to learn
 when love is lost in self-concern -
 How strange to lose lightness and laughter shared -
 Indifferent wavelengths changing times we cared -

 Vainly we sing of heart and Soul
 Adrift in an ocean beyond our control."

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"What can I say t'you?

 Desist, I say - I must insist!
 Who is this gal that can't be kissed?
 A blossom once glimpsed in a garden now lost?
 On the bank of a river that cannot be crossed?
 A dream in the heart in need of awakening?
 The love that sets the mountains a-shakening?"

[in reply to a tale of an inappropriate coup de foudre]

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"'Darling, put the lights out if it bothers you -'

 Born to live in the light
    born to walk in the light
    born to feel all the light
    born to see your light
    born to cry in the light
    born to smile at the light
    born to bow before the light
      of your tender love"

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"A long time ago I realised that I couldn't grasp 'n' keep What Was Important in my hand - like I couldn't hold a little bird in my hand - tho i did - I had to open my fist & let it Just Fly Away - And that was Poetry for Me - that which could be felt but never Captured - Known but Never held - The Simple Wonder of being Alive is Alien to Intellect"

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"The Rhymes Rhymes Re Self-Expression

 Yeh, I done the vain posturin
 Byronic n Shakespearean
 Till I surmised, then realised
 My friends found it all a bit wearyin' -
         The poetry bit, I mean,
         It just wasn't their scene -
 Well, since for writin' I hadn't the touch,
 I took t'talkin', but I talked too much,
 All I got was blank looks 'n' the need t'escape
 - Somebody shouted 'Psychological Rape!',
 So from bein' a romantic will o' the wisp
 I became a conversational terrorist -
         O incontinent tongue, incompetent pen,
 I had the talkin' blues again -
 'N' it wasn't the poem, it wasn't the tale
 that you wrote or you told that caused ya t'fail
 - No, it wasn't the pen n it wasn't the tongue
 - Twas the song in your heart that just hadn't bin sung!
         So I sit here forever unlearning all the drill
         Just waitin' 'n' listenin' for that song (so) still - "