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Date: Wed, 07 Apr 1999 12:07:02 +0100
From: British Aerospace Campaign (baecampaign@dial.pipex.com)
To: Networking Newsletter mailing list
Subject: Fwd: FW: NEWS FLASH


White House -- President Clinton announced today an all out bombing offensive against England will begin in two weeks, unless a peace accord is ratified by England and its break-away province of Northern Ireland.

"Using the fine logic we crafted in the Kosovo intervention, we have decided to add, incrementally, to the list of peace initiatives around the world" he said in a prepared statement. A background briefing indicated that on a weekly schedule, the Clinton administration would intervene in the following areas -

Week 01 -- Bombing of England to free Northern Ireland
Week 02 -- Bombing of Ankara, Baghdad and Teheran to free the Kurds
Week 03 -- Bombing of several random African countries to stop the Hutus from killing Tutsis
Week 04 -- Bombing of both Istanbul and Athens to solve the Cyprus problem
Week 05 -- Bombing of Madrid to free the Basque Country
Week 06 -- Bombing of Ottawa to free the Québécois
Week 07 -- Bombing of Jakarta to free the Timor Islands
Week 08 -- Bombing of New Delhi to free the Tamil peoples of Sri Lanka
Week 09 -- Bombing of Paris to free Corsica
Week 10 -- Bombing of Washington, D.C. to free the Confederate of Southern States, held captive for 139 years

"This schedule will do until we can come up with others," said Madeline Albright, Secretary of State. She did not respond when asked when the bombing of Beijing in order to free Tibet would occur.

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