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The Tale of Billy the Kid and Sadd the Lad

And it came to pass that Billy the Kid decided enough was enough! It was time for a final showdown with Sadd the Lad. The ultimatum was issued - either Sadd surrendered his fabulous collection of dragon eggs or Big Bill was going to have it out with him once and for all.

Bad Sadd indignantly protested that the only eggs he'd got were the chickens' eggs he'd bought from Maggie's Farm. But in vain. Such defiance had to be punished. The gang were assembled and given their orders: "Go in and get him!".

The plan was simple - attack Sadd's hut, beat up anyone there that wasn't the enemy leader and bring back whoever was left. The skirmish was brief and decisive, and soon afterwards a sorry-looking Sadd was captured and dragged back to the gang-house.

Bill the Bold looked him right in the eye. "Right, this is just you and me, one to one. Now, we'll see what you're made of. Tie the little cheat up so he can't run away."

Tiny Tony was sent off to get some rope, and came back a few minutes later with an old clothes line. Sad Sadd was quickly tied to the trunk of the big tree in the yard. The more he struggled, the more securely he was bound, until at last he was trussed so tightly that he could hardly move a muscle. There was rope round his feet, his ankles, his legs, his knees, his chest, his arms, and they'd even gagged him so he couldn't squeal to try and attract someone's attention.

"Ok, one more time, are you going to give in?" said Billy, "This is your last chance."

Sadd desperately started to nod, but quick as a flash, Tiny leapt up and wrapped the last bit of washing line round his neck. Billy shrugged. "If you want to have a fight, then that's what you're going to get." he said.

Everyone was excited, cheering and yelling out advice to Billy about tactics and strategy and where to hit him and how to hit him and what to watch out for. Bill took off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves, flexed his muscles and stared fiercely at his opponent.

"You ready for it?" he asked.

And without waiting for an answer, he stepped back and swung a huge punch at his enemy's nose. In panic Sadd the Lad violently jerked his head to one side, moving it just enough so that Billy the Kid's fist grazed his cheek and smashed straight into the tree.

And all the gang booed, and shouted "Fight fair you bastard!"

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revised 6 February 2008
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